letters to my children : ella

My beautiful Ella,

I have been trying to write this letter to you, what seems like forever. Not because it hasn’t been burning on my heart to do so, but because life has gotten in the way. You are all getting older, our schedule has become more packed. We just enjoyed Christmas and are in down time mode, so I am taking this time to finally put some details about you in writing.

There really is so much to say. You are one special gift. Ella Laree means, “shining light” which sums you up perfectly!  We have been watching a lot of home videos lately, something we tend to do around the holidays, and I really can’t get enough of your sweet little self. You are still the same. It is so fun to watch you then and watch you now. You are still quirky and sweet, just without your adorable little lisp. I am so glad we have those videos. You like watching them as much as I do, who wouldn’t. You’re adorable!

It is such a blessing to watch you grow into the beautiful woman God has created you to be. I have seen such a change in you lately. You are still just as passionate, but you are learning how to control that passion and it’s beautiful to watch. Your heart is to bless those around you. You are learning how to take the desire to control and use it as a blessing. We have a lot of heart-to-hearts and I can see when we talk, you listen with your whole heart. You want to learn. You want to be used. And you will… mightily.

You look up to your sister so much. You struggle with being younger. But, I know you are so thankful for her. You truly have a best friend for life. I listen to the both of you giggle together, late at night, when you should be sleeping and it makes me smile. Such a precious relationship you have. You will continue to drive each other crazy at times, but you will also never have a closer friend. Your differences and those things that drive you crazy now, will be the same things you lean on each other for down the road.

You are extremely hard working when you’re focused on a goal. School just comes effortlessly to you it seems. I never worry about you. Even though you tell me you don’t like school at times, you still do amazing. You told me you want to either be President and rule the world, be an artist like Vincent van Gogh, or manage an Olive Garden so you can eat unlimited breadsticks. With your quirky personality and perfect comedic timing, you often have us laughing until it hurts. You’re shy and outgoing at the same. You are bold, outgoing and fearless. But you also have a shy side, usually when you’re put on the spot… I can relate.

You are so artistic. It just comes naturally to you. You blow me away with the drawings you create and the natural eye you have for all things beautiful. You aren’t afraid to be you. That is such a gift. That’s something that takes a lot of people years to figure out, if at all. You dance to the beat of your own drum, and those that are lucky choose to join you. You welcome them in, you just don’t mind either way. You definitely know what you want and you will do anything it takes to accomplish it. Even if it means hurting a few feelings. It’s something you got from me, we are working on that together.

You really remind me so much of myself. A lot of times it’s like looking at myself in a mirror. It’s why I get you. It’s why you get me. And it’s why we butt heads a lot. It’s why we we are close and will continue to be that support to one another through this journey of life. You are one of my best friends and I am so thankful to have you in my life. I know our memories and those precious stories we share are just beginning. I couldn’t be smiling bigger right now thinking of our relationship. Thinking of that time a few weeks ago, sitting outside Whole Foods and sharing that precious time together. Crying together. Figuring out life together. We connected and I couldn’t of been more proud of you in that moment. I saw your gorgeous spirit and was so thankful that God gave me the job of being your mom.

Keep on being you. Keep listening and following after the Lord. Walk closely with Him all the days of your life. Continue to love and pour into the lives that God brings your way. You will find complete fulfillment in loving God and loving others. Stay close with your sister and brothers, no one will understand you better than your siblings. You are a smart, strong, passionate woman… don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Continue to pursue boldly those things God is speaking to your heart. Even though you could get hurt, love deeply. Go after your passions with all your heart.

I will always be here for you precious girl. It’s an honor to be your mom and your friend. Thank you for showing me things about myself that I would have never known. Thank you for being patient and understanding with me. Thank you for being you.

Love,

Mom

 

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